Eyes in the night
Pierce through my soul
Shining so bright
Cover my windows
To keep them out
When the wind blows
I hear them shout
There are no words
Only silent screams
They cut like swords
Into my dreams
I Don't Care AnymoreThe ones that hurt the most
Are the ones that show the least
How does it feel to win?
When everyone else has lost everything
How’s it feel to shout your hatred?
Telling everyone that they’re loved
I’ll tell you right now, everyone is different
But we all hurt the same
My voice may be silenced
But my words still scream
I may have been raised in the light
But all I know is the night
Hate me if you want
I won’t give what you need
How can you expect sympathy
When all you have is apathy
I Need To GoNo matter how shaded
The light may seem
I would not have traded
For another’s dream
This life is mine
And mine alone
I trace the line
Around my clone
They have the time
To feel my pain
Is it a crime
To have something to gain
I pass on my fear
As nothing at all
But what I hold dear
Will bring about my fall
I’m no longer afraid
Of having more to bear
The price I paid
Is secret, I swear
Only but a few
Will ever know
What I've been through
And why I need to go
The Reflection in Your EyesThe fire burning inside
Is not something I can hide
But I’m no longer afraid to show
What you already know
I know I've said it once to you
In the time that followed I knew
What I said was perhaps too soon
I thought we played the same tune
You alone lit the fire inside my heart
No one else can claim that part
You've always been right here for me
When I blink you’re all I see
I need to be with you some day
I promise you I’ll find a way
But until that day is here
I hope that you will feel no fear
I need you like trees need light
When you speak my heart takes flight
And when I see my reflection in your eyes
I’ll know at last I need no disguise
If I can
Fix what I broke
But I still will try
To atone for my fault
And maybe someday I will
But for the time being I’m here
I’m waiting in limbo to hear you
Your voice can undo the locks that bind me
But you don’t hold the key that I need
Your key just made the lock tighter
So tight that I can’t breathe now
Then I hear the thought
Maybe I shouldn't
It’s not my place
To breathe air
Silent DesperationNo longer waiting in silent desperation
In this world of hate and desolation
I feel the darkness when I close my eyes
Filling me with its soothing lies
But yet I still know that one day I will be free
From all the horrors of the world that we see
And as to what that means I do not know
But yet I cannot clear the snow
The heavy snow blankets the skies
It crashes down before my eyes
And when my vision clears at last
I know that I may have moved too fast
The pain I have caused can never be repaid
I saw the path but yet I strayed
Now I see what happens when I try
I fall to my knees to beg but I refuse to lie
I know there is but one person to blame
And now they’re alone, hiding in shame
They tried so desperately to change their fate
But in return they gave too little too late
So many screaming voices in my head
Each in a different way wishing me dead
I don’t know how much more I can take
I fear quite soon that I will break
If there are any gods, or any such beings to pray to
I Did ThatIsn't it great after a hard day of work
To look back at everything you did
And be able to say
“I did that…”
No matter what it was
No matter its size or worth
“I did that…”
We may never realize how much what we do matters
But why should that stop us from doing what we love
And when you’re done
Whisper to yourself
“I did that…”
And when they tried to tear down my soul with their baseball bat of hate
I accepted the blows, because I knew that each one made me who I am
I accepted my punishment for crimes not committed
Only because it was something
“I did that…”
But as time moved on, I grew weaker, no, They grew stronger
Each swing they took did more damage than I could repair
So I got fed up, and took the bat
I took their hatred and made a house of it
To keep myself safe from any more
“I did that…”
I did that, not because I wanted to
I did that, because
Lost CauseWhy am I a lost cause?
How am I never enough?
No one wants to pause
To call out my bluff
Everything I try to sever
Is still linked to my life
Even though I will never
Turn to the knife
I wish I could lie
But I am too weak
I want to cry
Every time I try to speak
A pathetic freak
So anxious for death
To hear the squeak
Of its final breath
I've Done What I CanYou’ll be able to see one day
I’ll never lose my faith in you
If there’s something you want to say
You know just what to do
I’ll be waiting here for your voice
I've already done what I can for now
But it’s up to you to make the choice
You’re the only one that knows how
No matter how dark the night
There is nothing to fear
There’s no need to fight
The dawn is already here
You Deserve to SmileDo what you have to do to be happy.
Eat an entire chocolate cake,
Swallow all the pills you need to take -
'Medication' isn't a dirty word.
Wear a princess dress
Or a band t-shirt with
Jeans in distress -
Boy or girl or anything in between,
Stand before that mirror
Take a twirl
And see how beautiful you are.
Go for a run,
Have some fun,
Watch Netflix until your eyes burn,
Curl up in bed -
Take a vacation from your head.
Phone a friend
And talk for hours,
Or stay in your room
And wait for the darkness
To end -
No need to pretend,
Just do what you need.
Paint a picture
Or write a sonnet,
Or just sit still
And breathe -
Pick some flowers,
Just for yourself -
You are just as special
As anyone else.
Can You Hold on One More Day?I read a poem about a boy.
Who had lost all of his pride and joy.
He wore his heart on his sleeves.
Which were stained red,
From all of the blood that he bled.
The boy died...
By the blade of a knife.
That he ran up and down his wrists.
And I couldn't help but cry.
That poem was fake.
There wasn't such a boy.
It wasn't a true story.
But... Then I began to realize.
That just because it wasn't that specific boy.
There are others just like him.
Begging for death.
Slitting their wrists,
And hoping to die.
Because so many times,
And so many times,
But nothing gets better!
I just wanted to say,
I've been that boy.
At some point.
I felt that way.
And I just wanted to say,
I am so sorry.
I know it hurts but hang on another day.
Please, stay with me dear.
Don't join that boy,
No, not tonight.
Stay with me,
Suckerpunch SweetheartRed lipstick war paint
I am a soldier in my own war;
A force split in two sides.
I am a force of nature
Bring about my own rapture
And I’ll bring you to your knees.
Little girl lost.
Cut off my hair
Cut into my skin
Pretty princess girl
Let me in
Let me in.
Sugar in my veins
And poison in my heart;
I can turn blood
Into a work of art.
I won’t go there again
Won’t do it
A sea of hands
In my head.
A universe inside.
Just what's inside.
quirks.when i was a child:
i loved to steal.
i would go around my neighborhood
and steal lawn ornaments.
at daycare, i would steal money
once, i stole my next door neighbor’s
when my parents confronted me,
the lie was smooth and solid:
i saw so-and-so take it.
when i was a child:
i loved to lie.
i would make up stories
to get reactions out of people.
to see if they’d believe me.
once, i convinced my friend charlotte
that i had twenty-four hours to live.
when she burst into tears,
i had to bite my tongue
to keep from laughing.
when i was a child:
i loved animals.
i would lock my dog in the closet
and in the bathroom.
a lot of my neighbors left birdcages out
during the day
so i set all of the birds free.
once, i imagined what it would be like
to kill an animal.
then, i imagined what it would be like
to run over it repeatedly
with a car
so i did it with my scooter
to a rose i found
because it was red
when i was a
Eternity Comes Only Once
...In a dream of eternal youth
with beautiful eyes and unspoken truths,
dancing on a thin thread drawn by Selena
in a blue night when all four winds talking about peace;
...In that unique poem when love
shines more than the Sun God on your ring finger,
weaving lasting hopes on a delicate cobweb
in a white day of the beginning of all beginnings;
...In a cold afternoon of December
with memories which surrounds the Arctic Circle,
melting everlasting snows that floods the time,
paradoxically, leaving behind them the fire which burns your heart;
....In the black hole of a single moment,
with pain, with answers, with courage, maybe with joy, or Not,
Waltz with the time between seconds,
Eternity comes only once...
i cradle my hope
with both hands,
as if holding it close
will give it the warmth
to stay alive.
when you come near
it flares and rustles,
begging to take flight;
yet i am both caress
we have confused our signals,
mixed our drinks and
closure looms ominous
but i would rather forget
than be caught in this
luminous void of
i am weak
you are blind,
perhaps we could be
if only we spoke.
you have unknowingly
in helical fundamentals
about my identity,
shaped me in
the embers of
i wish i knew
when to release
this frail hope.
we're both drunk
and you're shaking,
caught in a moment
neither here nor now.
bring you back to
the present, and i linger
but you are eager to eclipse
so you run.
i'm too afraid to ask,
but at least the question's
we're both cowards.
Demons Can Feel TooI'll admit that I'm a demon.
I'm cold and cruel,
Hateful and quick to anger.
I prefer darkness over light.
But demons can have feelings too.
I can be hurt, offended.
I can be sympathetic.
I can care for other people
And I can love.
I may be a cruel being.
Excessively so at times.
But that doesn't make me heartless.
Though I may seem so,
I do have a heart.
And I do use it.
Just not often.
Because the problem with having a heart
Is it can be broken.
And I don't want a broken heart.
I think maybe that's why demons seem so cruel and hateful.
They're just afraid of getting hurt.
Malalai heard a child scream once,
and it was the sound of Algebra,
the Cold War,
but also a mango seed
scraping wood to etch grammar rules.
my privilege mirrors bomb threats.
i have three dream catchers in my room,
all of which were created by foreign hands.
my hands tell a well-kept secret,
notebook paper and straight-edged rulers,
pencils with erasers attached.
the mango falls from the tree and the tree
understands its nakedness.
the student drops out of school and the school
understands its cut budget.
Malala nearly died for her right to literacy.
who am i, insignificant, ignorant,
to rebel against a system whose brokenness
is so manically coveted?